waaaahhhhh.... I had a tough day today... bt it all went fine.. after i cried the hardest, it made me feel better.. bt it wouldhave been better if i had someone to talk to..bt, i guess, i wont be able to break my feelings without crying... I just dont want to show people the uncool side of me..hehe

hm, well,, today watched "you're beautiful"!! OMG! its a really v good story!(: SHINWOO is super handsome!ahaha! bt.. i like Tae Kyung more!OMG! were actually the same! he's also allergic to prawns!!nyahaha! bt mine is not so serious la.. i didnt know shellfish cn also make your lungs collapse.. :/ bt anyway, i like shinwoo's manliness, i mean i really dont know lah, bt couldhave he figured out alr tht Go mi nam is a girl? wah, if not he's like,, a gay?!nyah! bt i think he figured out alr la, just tht he dont say..ahhh!! i wanna watch more! im still at ep 6!(:

say... finding a job is really tough ya.. especially if you're residing in a foreign country, not your own race.. it had been hard for me since my years here.. coz its always the nationality problem.. In school, the same case.. I cant even get closer to my friends because I dont understnd a single word they converse in chinese..its kinda sad..and i always have felt lonely not knowing more abt thm,, & its kinda hurting being stabbed at your back without evn knowing... (i dont know)... bt i have never known my friends better,, i wish if only i can understand thm better.. :(

secondly, this job thingy, whn they spoke of nationality, it gets on my nerves,, it was like 4th time ive been rejected bcoz of nationality problem... bt i cant do anything, isit like wrong being born like this?.. if only.. if only i knew how to spoke their language.. T-T so i was like thinking this early aftrnoon, while boarding on the mrt,, b4 meeting hei mun,, how exciting to be working with someone you know atleast,, i was too happy back thn... i thought if we both found a job, we cn have fun aftrwards,, i could try the arcade she've been asking me to try.. we cn eat yami yougurt all we want,, bt things just always doesnt go your way...

well, we've went to this store she told me abt, both of us were being brave to ask...LOL! normally i would be very shy one, bt not this time, since i really wanna get a job..haha, i thought it was the same for her.. so i was kinda dissapointed whn the counter thre interruptd me, just to speak in chinese.. so both mun and her talked and talked.. mun signed a job application,, why the heck did she asked me still if i want or not?! ofcourse evn if i want to i wont be able to work there!! I feel like kinda a bother, as if like i would say no, and decide for her.. i think its not also right... so i was kinda holding back, saying its fine.. evn though i felt like breaking down while seeing her signing the application form.. T-T damn... really if only, this nationality thingy wont come to surface, this wouldnt have happened... T-T

so back thn i was not thinking tht straight, i was not myself, it didnt evn reachd an hour, and we both went home.. She still asked me to got find job thre, bt i told her nt to bother alr... ahh!jinja!
say.. the only reason i wanna work there though its far bcoz atleast i would have some company.. now tht she's not with me..wht for?.. Im left alone..sigh,, i wonder if she cared for me evn juz once? i wonder if she understood how i felt? it was terrible, i felt like i have been abandoned, or sth, aftr she had achieved her goal... say, tht's why I like Tae Kyung! were like the same...haha(:

bt aftr having much thought,, i knew tht she also felt sad for me..and tht i hope.. ya, 'dongsaeng', mian! tht time i couldnt evn reply or speak properly, i felt as if i was devasted or sth... aftr seeing you secure a job alr, while i still dont have.. i felt kinda envious.. and also sad tht you weren't there for me always.. LIFE is really harsh, sometimes people like me have to endure it, and stand up agn by herself without the help of others.. Its just fate tht i have been born different as you, I'll just take it as a challenge!(': so it was really weird tht time, we werent talkin to each othr, we talked abt the show bt it ended soon, obviously, evn though she tried making the atmosphere abit lively, it wont change.. Bt thankful tht she's trying, i still could smile abit evn though in such a situation...(:

Tmr, will be different frm all the days!! its the start of my real-life struggle!! hope i'd learn fast and do a great job for my 1st day!(: