sometimes i wonder wht's the true meaning of family;mom&dad.. if togetherness would only bring conflict, beating, sadness, mouthful of hellish words, lies & death threats, thn i shdnt have gone here..wht shd i do? shd i still continue? or am i going home tmr? either way, i would be happy if all of this could finally be settled..
waahh.. ive had it today.. my prelims result came out.. i was happy to passed amaths bt how cn i be happy if you two are quarelling? i knw i nv get the best results, nv did it reachd my expectations, bt i did my best.. bt this isnt my very best yet.. i hope? bt how? how to study like this? when my mom always say she's gonna die? whn my father always says "fuck you!?" cn u pls tell me you two? why are u so childish? i knw later mom will recieve a beating frm my father.. its always been like this.. and if i interrupted, i will get a slap..
im hardened.. it feels like i dont feel any pain anymore.. i see my mom cry, cry your heart out loud.. i knw later you'll stop once you're tired.. i hear my dad spurting out all the vulgarities he could think of, fine, do whtever you want, scream you lungs out until you get tired.. and i hope yu lose your voice tmr..
i really couldnt handle it anymore.. we changed house, we gt a rm mate bt its still the same, we're making a shame of ourslves infrnt of othr people.. and did i ever follow your footsteps dad?
NO! bt i think soon i will.. coz where did i come frm? it was you who created me, so its common sense tht i follow you right? i knw im quiet and i will nv do all those things, bt who says? who cares? and as if you cn read othr peoples minds? if i can kill i would! yes! i will do it! for better or for worse.. you just need to keep goin on and hit the limit of my patience..
i didnt know you smoke? is it tht nice? wht's nice abt it? liquor? i knw i dont like it bt why is it tht it tastes good to you? shd i try and be addicted to it too? oh pls.. tell me, do u ever want your kids to be like this? my sister cnnot do anything bt to talk back and cry.. evn she couldnt evn fight back so effetctively..
i tell you, if you do this to us, u'll regret in the end.. yes, you feed us, you provide us nice things.. food. YES! everything! bt where's the love tht we needed the most? we needed your presence!
so pls. stop drinking and smoking alr.. and come back to us.. dont make my mom cry agn, or slap her whn you're drunk..coz its hurting us, ur family.. tht you're nt here, u're making a fool of yourself, shaming yourself, & u're making your health evn worse..
do you knw why my patience nv snaps? bcoz i always forgive.. tht's wht my grandma taught me.. learn to forgive.. yes, i forgive you because you're my father.. so forgive us too if we're too persistent in emphasizing this to you.. bcoz we just dont wanna lose you.. i dont wanna lose a father agn.. now tht we're all whole agn.. as a family..
I LOVE YOU MOM & DAD! so dont fight alr! :'(
