reply to mandy(:

uhm, 1st of all, i feel kinda shocked to see ur tag, haha..was not reali expecting tht.. actually i had forgotten abt this issue alr bt since its brought up agn..well i guess i need to have a say..haha(:

did u found out abt tht small 'thing' tht i wrote?lol, anw, i was like kinda annoyed tht time.. i was super confused whether to accept it or not,abt tht swimming thing..coz the time mun& cassan told me abt the marina barrage tht im excluded for tht outing, i was clueless on who frm the three of u told tht.. so i was thinkin..hmm, "gwen, yuanyi or mandy?" ofcourse mun&cassan said none of thm told tht, and i think they wont tell me whom evn though i asked repeatedly..haha, so i din bother to do tht..

so about the swimming thing i tried to reject coz i was scared tht "wht if the 5 of u there show up?" "wht would tht person say abt me?" Its coz usually whn u ask me out too the 5 of u are also there right? I knew tht i would feel out place lah, so i made up a lie..im sorry... i juz dun wanna mess up your friendship tht i felt i alr did whn i start goin out with you guys.. reali sorry!!! i must be reali crazy ya, i shdnt have done tht in the 1st place..&now i learnt my lesson..

& the funny thing is tht.. since u invited me abt tht swimming, i was thinkin tht u cnt be the one who told tht i shdnt be in tht marina barrage outing, coz u still want me to go out with u guys ma,, bt it appeared tht it was you..!haha so i was like eyeing on yuanyi coz myb she really felt tht im alr replacing her so she said tht.. gwen? i got no strong reason.. hm,, myb coz i always joke her tht she's slow?haha! bt she wont react so strongly based on tht lah..hahaha!!

& thanks for telling me tht! now i have no confusion or whtsoever.. btw, i cnt help to be upset tht time too le,, like whn the two of thm (cassan & mun) told me abt tht unfortunate thing for me.. its coz i was alr expecting for tht leh.. i evn saved my best for tht outing you knw! its so funny tht, the time we were meetin' to buy presents for the band investiture thts goin to be held few days later, i didnt even ate lunch with thm lor.., i forced myslf to eat at home in advance coz i was saving my money for tht outing.. & it sounded to me tht we were goin to a high-class place,, lol.. cassan alr had shared some things abt tht marina barrage..i was super excited ley.. bt thn it was like a bomb tht juz exploded inside me whn thy told me tht i wasnt evn included in it.. i was so foolish to evn put tht effort to save..haha, & some more thy kept sayin sorry to me & was abt to cry.. sigh, the atmosphere remained heavy on me & i really felt tht i was so pitiful leh..

i juz wanna ask tht if you're gonna invite me, i hope its final.. if i wernt suppose to be there,its fine for me if u never invite me..ofcourse i also understand wht u are feeling.. bt u alr invited me few days b4 tht outing, ofcourse i also cnt help to expect & be excited la.. & was only told off few days b4 tht..& tht hurts man..

& if u knew it was weird tht i was there, thn why did u still invite me? like in the healthzone? & the othr ikea outings as well.. i juz wanna ask..hehe, actually i was also quite shocked whn u strted inviting me in.. & ofcourse i cnt help to feel uncomfortable bein with the 5 of u esp. in the healthzone.. i tried my best to mix ard you & yuanyi and not only mix with mun&cass coz im usually with thm mah,, coz it juz defeats the purpose of me being there right? if id only mix with thm and not all of you.. haha, bt yup its hard for me too..bt all i was thinkin tht time, "slowly id get to know y'all too" w/c is kinda impossible now..haha

so i was also in the wrong to accept ur invitations & go out with u guys, it was only because mun&cass tht i wanna go out,,i also brought up this issue to thm tht if i go id be so out of place..bt mun say "nvm,ill talk to you" & cassan say "if u nv go, ill nv talk to u anymore" LOL! so i thought its fun tht i gt a company evn tho i go out with the 5 of u(:

bt also on the othr hand, i never regret accepting it! i really thought it was fun being with the 5 of u, i felt reali happy being in a circle of friends too! esp. of diff. race as me & its kinda unique,, thanks for lettin me experience it(:

& im sorry to yuanyi too.. i bet she really felt like tht.. myb y'all thinkin now tht its bcoz yuanyi always cnnot make it on the outings tht i take advantage to take her place.. its not like tht...really.. im not stupid.. evn tho i really tried doin tht, I will never be the same as yuanyi ya'll knew.. yuanyi is much more better thn me!! haha, and im sure the 5 of u would choose a very close friend instead of a stranger u juz knew, right?haha, so im not a replacement,, not evn worth a replacement..haha, really so sorry for these misunderstandings..

and thanks ya for makin it clearer to me..thanks for evrythin'! & SO SORRY TOO! & whn i said abt tht small writing, im not angry.. i was juz upset coz im reali confused tht time..haha, pls. dont misunderstnd..okie?!(:

haha, PEACE! ^^V

i think i wrote quite alot..lol, bt hope u wont get tired reading it..haha(: