YAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ahahaha!! i so long nv post alr....
lol..well,, oh, well.. ive been v busy
these past few days....
been polishing the piece i was
playing on piano(: & mybe one
of these days will record it?.. haha..
its quite sad though... bt ya, IM
SAD!,, I AM! and i wont lie this
time....im sorry..

sigh.... these past few days been
ignoring two of my close friends..
i also dunno 4 wht reason ya.. LOL!!
haha, ok, i said i wont lie this time..
so i will say once & for all why hve
this happened..

the reason why i was soo sad is, nth
related to you two... bt since u also
knw her..ok, nw thn im gonna tell..
its abt my family actually..myb u all
heard tht my grandma is flying off
soon..& im so sad to knw tht she will
be leaving w/o me... T-T i was lookin
forward and hoping tht i could come
with her and send her safely to our
town...bt thn my evil mom dont want
me to come..dad is also evil since he
agreed..& since thn ive been crying at
night...& i wouldnt be acting like this
to you two until tht day..

"why u recently so sad?"
i've been asked like quite a no. of
times the same old question by
you guys.. &
i kept on refusing.. right?!lol..
esp whn aftr band.. its coz i was
trying to imagine goin home w/o
seeing my gradma watching tv
there...i will reali reali miss her....
so im unusually quiet.. & i juz
realized whn cassan said tht im
nt usually like tht,,lol, reali meh?
ahahahaha!! last time myb i was
quiet, bt until uve become my
friends,, i was soo lively..like im bck
to the same age as y'all..lol

& its bcoz,, whn you two asked me
tht..i just kpt remembering the same
old thing..tht my grandma is goin bck
home alr..and im not in..i was also
hopin to see my friends..bt,,my only
one chance b4 they scatter around the
country for college, is gone alr..im not
goin..IM NOT! T-T & i was hurting
like hell..

well actually i din really intend to
ignore you guys in the first place... i
also dun understand myself.. u cn also
say im pathetic lor.. like the time i
strted to ignore u, i was sayin to myself
"oh shit, wht am i doing?!" & whn i said
"juz dun care abt me" i was thinking
"damn, wht did i juz said?!" lol, i was
crazy...

like for wht reason did i do this?
& im now sayin it w/o a lie.. its
bcoz u two care soo much for me tht,
im soo thankful to hav friends like you..
& i felt like i shouldnt hv you as my
friends coz im nt good enough.....
ahahahaha! since whn did i say
so emotional things like this?...lol, bt
wht im sayin is true... i felt like i shd just
go home coz i dont belong here...

and it may appear like im hurting u guys
instead of thankin u for doin tht...i dunno,
bt im just like this..i tend to hurt people
whn i love thm..and make things difficult
for evryone including me.. and now, im
saying sorry.... im reali reali sorry... like
so many times ive been doin this......

esp to unni... sigh... i just dunno why u're
like tht lor.. juz now i was like carrying a
big GUILTY on my back whn u still
happily offered me your sausage bun whn
i said i was hungry! bt i couldnt
accept it coz i did too much to you alr & i
dont deserve it from u.. i dont understand
why u are still soo kind to me evn though
ive been ignoring u for the past few days..
and tht time,, i wanna cry lor.. i was hungry
bt the feeling was more thn tht.. i realized
tht i hve been soo bad.. & still u dont hate
me... UNNI!! T-T why did i bcum ur frnd?!
i dont deserve to be... T-T ahhhhh!!!!
& i miss u damn badly..
my phone has been dead since thn..sigh..
anw, 'he' might be always smsin u now
lor... hehehe! hwaiting unni! as long as u
are happy!(: haha,

thn reali thanks to cassan for forgiving
me... atfirst, i thought she will ignore me
bck since ive been ignoring her.. BUT!
waaahhh... she was soo kind... T-T i was like
tearing whn she smiled at me... thn thre
i said so sorry..i hd totally no face to show
her... im reali sorry leh.. ahhhh!!! otoke..!!?
im feeling v guilty now... T-T

& i was plannin to say sorry to unni too
juz now..bt i was hesistating coz she still
seemed to be angry at me..... sigh...
ahhhhh!!! otoke?! cry, cry cry.. AHHHH!!
T-T so i was juz behind her while walkin
to the inter & the words were juz at the tip
of my tongue... bt i just couldnt say it..
myb i was too hungry to let out those last
energy tht was left in me...haha!! i juz
realized how hard to say sorry like
personally.. esp whn u hurt the person
alot... sigh...

so tmr i hope evrything would be bck to
normal.. i knw ive apologized alr bt im
still nt sure if unni would forgive me...
T-T hope she'll understand... & tmr
i shall hv the courage to say it!!!
HWAITING!!!!!!!!!!ahahahahaha!!xD

& i will still miss my grandma,, im
planning to ruin her trip back home..haha!
im soo evil ya..! bt whose the most evil to
not let me go?! hahaha!, k, la kiddin la..
bt i will seriously cherish the moments wif
my grandma,, i shall nt let go of her whn
i go to slp tonight...(:

k, thts all, lol..its a kinda long post today..
anneong!(: