today we have gt syf prctice.. met wif heimun at the bustop.. ooppss,, b4 tht tanwan cme thn she say she'll wait wif me! :) im playing game in my phone though..thn principal saw me! ahhhh!! freaked out! nyahaha! reachd the hall bt gt urge to pee agen.. ok, must be side effect of drinking too much water this morning..haha! at frst din talked wif heimun,, i also dunno why..haha,, gomen!gomen! well, myb i juz dunno wht to talk abt..haha,, well, overall prac. i cn say, its v tiring..since we had a long week break.. and esp. the costume came out!! and ahhh! the blouse ws too small for me! so went to change! and great!! it ws a success!! nyahaha! myb tmr wont feel tht uncomfortable lah..haha!

thn gt time whn tanwan show us sth on her phone..it ws abt "concentration" i think.. i thought it ws reali sth interesting lah..bt its quite scary in the end.... i freaked myslf out! thn heimun and tanwan cme laughin' at me!! so bad! T_T bt i admit it ws nth lah.. myb i exxagerated abit.. nyahaha! bt itll freak u out! trust me! juz nw tried tht to my grandma! ws playing wif her.. at first shared my progress in my "hilacan farm"- harvest moon in my psp! haha.. cz i say i gt 18 cows and sheeps 10 chickens, 58 fishs and 72crops to be harvested! thn ws v excited to show her leh..haha, i named it "hilacan" juz for her u knw! its bcz its the name of her farm in our province! :) uhmm.. ok back to the concentration thing..haha, her reaction was damn funny!!! she nv say anything! and she juz stared at it! nyahaha! she's v abnormal lorh! i put the phone till her eyes cn see leh, bcz tht time she nv wear specs and i put the volume to max also... how cn it be!? nyahaha, till nw cn rmb her plain face! xD well, whn my sis cum bck tmr, i let her show!! nyahaha! i v excited to see her reaction leh,,! so sister!! must cum bck fast ok?! nyahaha!

aftr lunch,, me, heimun and tanwan went chatting.. haha, it ws abt scary things! as started frm the concentration thing.. this is when i laugh my ass out! its bcz whn heimun read books abt vampires and werewolves..omg! she's more crazy thn me! bcz she ws scared right,, at night she put her bolster covering her neck, so tht the vampire wont bite her neck!! nyahaha! i cn't believe tht she do tht! as if there is any real vampire who would reali come out at night, and bite her lah! hahaha! xD and if ever,, will the bolster save her?! nyahaha! mybe lah, if the vampire's fangs is too short!! haha! i cn't stop imagining things.. (take note tht im still laughing while tying this story.. xD) and she say, she also gt cover her whole body wif blanket so tht the werewolf wont scratch its sharp claws to her body! hahaha! OMG! i imagine her lah.. myb her purpose is to scare away the werewolf, if evr it would cum her house.. xD its cz she looked like a mummy covered wif sheets! nyahaha! or if the werewolf is nt scared, i wonder wht she'll do wif a blanket served as her armor! nyahaha! reali so funny leh! xD

well,im also like her lah.. bt nt as crazy wif fictional things cuming out in mind! im more scared wif ghosts..bcz it seemed to be true.. esp. whn i dream abt those people who died alr,, esp. those part of my relatives.. i evn hear their voices leh whn im awake, lively and gt many things to do..! it suddenly juz happen u knw! and im nt evn thinking of it! myb its reali true lah.. cn alr call me a scaredy cat,, juz like wht my mum and dad alwys says to me.. bt thn, i juz cn't find reasons to prove wht/how/why it happens lah.. thy say im juz imagining things bt im reali nt thinking of it, seriously..and aftr those things tht happened in me in the past,, i became reali scared of thm.. myb wht heimun says makes sense "the more u think of it, the more it will cum to u" haha, actually i heard tht saying b4 frm my uncle..and i nv did 4get this.. whnvr i strt to think of it, i juz try myself to view the beautiful and happy memories in my mind..it sumwht helps..bt cn't reali pretend too long lah, sumtyms im so scared tht i want my sis, or my mum to be alwys beside me..like some warm body to hold onto atleast..haha, im v childish right?! although my sis reali dun want me to hug her lah..and i felt disgusted too...haha, thts why i ask my mum instead, to sleep wif us, so tht cn hug her vv warm body! xD dunno bt it helps me alot!! bt as time pass, im getting old alr..and i cnnot be doin those things right? it feels like im still being trapped in my childhood..dunno..haha

hmm.. last friday ws the scariest, i nearly lost my mind leh... its cz i dun wanna eat medicine.. it doesnt help me at all!! my family can prove how many months ive been taking medicine alr, bt still the pain wont go away... im reali v scared leh and i freakd out myself tht i wont get better anymore.. no matter how i try to eat lots of food esp. vegies, drink lots of water, and eat all my medicine, no change at all.. it juz gets harder and harder evryday... and the doctor still couldnt find wht it is.. and i juz think tht i will soon leave lah.. (omg!) and i juz think wht have i done if i did, to my family! im juz a waste! ive been wif thm thru good and hard times.. and im nt still getting a job to atleast return the great favor tht i owed thm since i ws young.. ws thinking abt all my friends at my hometown. my friends here,, my happy moments,, omg! i felt like crying agen.. i reali cried like a madwoman leh! some more infrnt of my mum, who ws also crying infrnt of me,, i cried out loud like a small child! cn u believe tht?! i ws nt reali thinking at all! my mind juz stopped...im staring blankly,,bt thn im still ok tht time lah... i was crying bcz it would hurt her to lost one of her daughter.. (wht am i saying?) nyahaha! reali crazy right?! well, sumtyms cnt stop thinking abt this lah... esp. tht im sick and still nt cured.. bt nw tht my mum gave me hope, i would still carry on lah.. i must help myself the most cz thy are all there helping me alr! im so thankful.. how cn i be so selfish......

well, did i say it till i looked like i want to create my own drama?! nyahaha.. "hay, buhay,,, parang life!" -quote frm alecza,, nyahaha! :) jan na! my grandma is in her dreamland alr... i must join her soon!! xD